


The One With Ross’ Surprise

by Magagug



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Gen, No Angst, No Smut, Set in 2014, just humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:34:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25392439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magagug/pseuds/Magagug
Summary: Ross has a surprise for the gang, but they’re not too crazy about it
Kudos: 2





	The One With Ross’ Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this in 2014, that’s why it’s set in that year

A lot has changed for the gang in the last 10 years, Monica and Chandler are the adopted parents of twins named Jack and Erica Bing as well as a biological son named Logan who was born in 2007. Unfortunately, after his unsuccessful second attempt at getting a real acting job, Joey moved in with them.

Mike Hannagan has "disappeared" leaving Pheobe a surprisingly happy widow. No one could figure out where Mike went, it was like he just vanished into thin air. The police didn't look for Mike for very long because they figured that it would just be better if everyone just moved on with their lives. The two had never gotten around to having children because they weren't ready to have any. So they just traveled the country doing covers for for b-list singers.

Ross & Rachel got married again shortly after she turned down the job in Paris, and now she has Mr. Zelner's old job at Ralph Loren. She and Ross eventually had another child in 2005, Luke Geller. They didn't want to have a big wedding, so they just did a quick one in Atlantic city. The two of them couldn't stand the idea of someone else living in Monica's old apartment, so they ended up buying it. Eventually though, once Rachel got pregnant with Luke they realized that the apartment wasn’t suited for a family of 5, so they decided to rent it out and they moved into the house next to Monica and Chandler.

Tonight was Ross and Rachel's 10th anniversary, they planned on going away for the weekend Rachel was going to drop off the kids at Chandler and Monica's house and wait for Ross to get home from work so that they could be driven to the airport. Unknown to Rachel and everyone else, Ross was bringing something with him that he'd been wanting for years.

"JOEY, YOU HAVE THAT AUDITION IN 45 MINUTES, WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ALL DAY?" Chandler asked, walking into Joey's mini apartment above the garage, and realizing that it was a total disaster, and that Joey was still in a t-shirt and bathrobe at 3 in the afternoon

"Dude, we've been playing Skyrim." Joey replied, making it sound like it was actually a big deal. Chandler and Monica had been trying to get Joey a job so that he would finally move out, but after seven years, they've been far from successful.

"Who's we?" Chandler asked

"Me, chick Jr., & Duck Jr." Joey replied, referring to the chick and duck that were sitting on Joey's bed. Obviously it wasn’t the same Chick jr. and Duck jr. that Joey intended to give to Chandler and Monica when the twins were born, but when Monica got home from work one day while Joey was on a date and saw that the birds had passed away, she had Chandler run to the pet store and get replacements. Fortunately, Joey believed their alibi that they transformed back into babies.

"OH, well then, then forgive my interruption." Chandler replied sarcastically

"What part are you auditioning for again?" He asked

"It's great, I got the male lead in this movie called Cannibal Island: part 2, which is weird because I don't think they ever made a part 1." Joey replied, excited about the role that could be his next comeback

"Yeah that is weird, or they did make a first one and hid it from it from all of humanity." Chandler replied, matter of fact

"They wouldn't hide a movie like this, it has a bunch of naked chicks, and stuff." Joey said

"That's EXACTLY what happened because it was a snuff film in the 80's." Chandler replied, before taking out his tablet, turning on the movie, and placing it on Joey's desk

"Here, see for yourself." Chandler said

meanwhile...

"So, did Ross at least give a hint about what the big surprise is?" Monica asked Rachel who was sitting at the kitchen table

"No, but to be honest, I'm nervous to find out." Rachel replied before taking a sip of her tea

"Hasn't he been talking a lot about dinosaurs a lot lately?" Pheobe asked

"Well yeah, but he always does though Pheebs." Rachel answered

"Ooohhh, maybe he got an enlargement!" Pheobe gasped

"Eh, maybe, I mean, he-" Rachel began

"Whoa whoa, T.M.I. T.M.I., too much information! I do NOT want to know about my brother's...stuff!" Monica interrupted, covering her ears

Eventually, Chandler walked down to the kitchen, which broke the awkward silence.

"Joey's still playing that game, isn't he?" Monica asked him

"No, I m making him watch cannibal Island." Chandler replied

"Ew Why?" The girls asked simultaneously

"Because he's trying out for a role in the sequel." Chandler said

"THE HELL I AM!" Joey yelled, running down the stairs, fully dressed "They killed a turtle, and then they ate it while it was still breathing! That's not right!" Joey yelled, sounding like he was about to cry until Pheobe ran to his side

Suddenly, everyone started hearing loud stomps outside. Everyone was silent since it sounded like it was only getting closer. "What the hell is that?" Monica asked

"ITS THE APOCALYPSE! ITS THE APOCALYPSE, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Pheobe yelled, running to a couch, grabbing an RPG from underneath the couch coushens, and running outside to confront whatever was making that noise

"Did you know she had a rocket launcher under your couch?" Rachel asked as she, Monica, and Joey followed Pheobe outside

"No." Monica replied 

“You didn’t know?” Joey asked “Phoebe has guns and stuff in all of our couches.”

The creature was almost in sight when they got outside. It was large and didn't seem to be like something from this world. It opened its mouth and roared, it was the most earth shattering sound they ever heard, it was like hearing God's battle cry. It looked like Godzilla, except it was only 35 feet tall, and Ross was riding on it's back.

"What do you think guys?" Ross asked, still on the dinosaur's back

"NNOOOOO, you've gotta be kidding me." Rachel and Monica yelled

"Ross, where the hell did you get that thing?" Rachel asked

"I'm one of the people who helped design it, and the museum isn't gonna use it anymore because he's just a motorized 1/10th scale replica of Godzilla, and not based on a real dinosaur." Ross replied, climbing down from the creature's back

"Hey Ross, Godzilla's right next to you!" Joey yelled, completely oblivious to the situation

"Yeah Joe, that's what we've been talking about for the past five minutes." Chandler replied, feeling like he was talking to a child

"Yeah, so would you guys mind if I leave this here while we're gone?" Ross asked Monica and Chandler

"Why can't you just put it in a storage unit, or a dumpster? They asked back

"No, they wouldn't let me, they said that it took up too much space." Ross replied

“Oh, what a shame.” Chandler replied

He and Monica looked at each other, waiting for the other to answer.

"Not it." Monica whispered

"Damnit." Chandler whispered back "Fine, just put it in the garage."

Monica cleared her throat, facing Chandler "I mean the side yard." Chandler said

"Okay, thanks guys." Ross said, using the remote to walk the 30 foot dinosaur over to the side yard, but not before accidentally hitting the button that made it roar one last time. Joey quickly ran in the house in fear.

Several hours later, after the sun was completely gone and the only light outside was the moon and the lights on porches. Pheobe walked outside after Monica and Chandler had gone to bed, with her RPG in hand to finally finish what she had begun. "You and I have unfinished business." She said, just before loading her RPG, aiming it at the dinosaur and firing. The dinosaur's head was instantly removed forms it's shoulders, causing one of it's teeth to crash through Monica and Chandler' s bedroom window.

"OH MY GOD!" Monica yelled

"Pheobe what the hell did you do?" Chandler asked

"I did what was necessary." Pheobe replied

"But my window was just shattered!" Monica said

"Ugh Monica, Monica, don't you realize there are always casualties in battle." Pheobe replied

"How was this a battle? You just blew up a robotic dinosaur that Ross built with his bare hands and probably spent a lot of time working on it despite not knowing anything about engineering." Chandler said, trying to ease the tension

"OH okay, well goodnight." Pheobe said walking home

"Mon, let's just go to bed we can get the window fixed and murder Pheobe in the morning." Chandler suggested

"Ugh, fine." Monica replied as she walked back to bed.

"She's paying for our new window." Monica said

"I know." Chandler said as he got back in bed

"Oh God, and we're gonna have to pay Ross for that stupid dinosaur!" She said

"Don't worry, you still look great, babe." Chandler replied, half conscious as he drifted off to sleep

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> The movie Joey was going to audition for is based off an actual movie (but with a different name). Please don’t look it up, it’s very disturbing.


End file.
